I can't sleep.
I unfortunately can still eat. I say unfortunate from my waistline's perspective. But as food is keeping me sane and alive, I believe it is a fortunate thing from the perspective of those around me.
I wake up at 5:30 am, even on my days off, with the wheels in my head whirring so quickly that I am surprised the sound does not wake Alma. I am glad he can sleep because his brain is so full of Optometry and Boards review information I am surprised there is room for anything else.
NICUs in AZ are not really hiring. And unless there is a job posted I can't really get in to talk to anyone, show them my resume, and blab on and on about my 7 years great experience until they are convinced that they cannot live without me. But I need a job contract now, so that I can start trying to buy a house, because now is the time to buy. And because Alma will be in AZ for half the year soon.
And that is just item #1 on a To Do list that is a page long.
I know it will all work out in the end. I know that everything happens in good time and for a reason. I know that with faith and trust I will be supported even when I feel like my head is going to explode.
Sometimes I think my personality type is the challenge I was sent to this Earth to overcome.
So today I am going to email, apply for jobs online, convince myself that I am willing to drive for an hour to get to a job because it is at least in the specialty I love, blog, send more emails, make appointments, cook meals- comfort food, mashed potatoes anyone?, bake valentine's cookies and give them away because when you feel sorry for yourself you are supposed to serve someone else, try not to bug my husband because he has no time for it, mop, make cards, and pray- pray I can keep this up and that it does indeed, all work out.
4 comments:
Thank you for venting just a little bit because it is nice to know you have normal frustrations underneath the incredibly put-together exterior. I can see why you are not sleeping though, wow - your reasons for stress are incredible. I would like to do what I can, I will gladly be a recipient of any valentines cookies and on a more serious note I can talk to my dad about positions available at his hospital. Since he is always giving epidurals he sometimes gets pretty familiar with some of those babies that end up in intensive care and definitely would know the nurses there. He works at Banner Gateway (on the 60 and the next street after Greenfield), can I assume that they have a NICU, does every hospital? He may also know the status of some other hospitals. I know sometimes having an "in" can make all the difference.
Good luck Amber, and Alma too! Hopefully you can turn your brain off and get some sleep soon. Stress is NOT FUN at all and for people like me too (all last half of last year) food really is comfortimg - SAD - still paying for that one. PLEASE let us know if we can help in anyway. You and Alma are always welcome at our house, even if it is for the whole rest of this year- we would love the company. Queen Creek gets lonely :) Hang in there - it will all be over soon...hopefully.
Thanks for venting. It is nice to know I am not the only one out there who is presently loving comfort foods (Mint Milan cookies and Sweedish fish for the time) and waking up way too early to stay sane. Leaving Chicago is exciting and stressful! I hope opportunities open in your direction and that it all works out for the best.
Eek, I was excited to find out where we're going, but maybe ignorance is bliss. i better enjoy it while I can! Amber, your v-day/home teaching cookies were AWESOME. LOVED the raspberry frosting. My mouth is watering. If all else fails, you can quit everything else and become a chef/baker. I'd probably keep you in business all by myself.
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